One sunny day, a rabbit came out of its hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, so a fox sneaked up on it and caught it.
"I'm going to eat you for lunch!", said the fox.
"Wait!" replaied the
rabbit. "You should at least wait a few days."
"Oh yeah? Why should I
wait?"
"Well, I am just finishing writing my PhD thesis."
"Hah! That's a
stupid excuse. What's the title of it anyway?"
"It is The Superiority of
Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves."
"Are you crazy? I should eat you up right
now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit!"
"Not really,
not according to my research. If you like, you can come to my hole and read it
for yourself. If you aren't convinced, you can go ahead and eat me for
lunch."
"You really ARE crazy!"
But, since the fox was curious and had
nothing better to do, it went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came
back out.
A few days later, the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and, sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to eat it.
"Wait!", yelled the rabbit. "You cannot eat me right now."
"And why might
that be, you fuzzy appetizer?" asked the wolf.
"I am almost finishing writing
my PhD thesis on The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and
Wolves."
The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its hold on the
rabbit.
"Maybe I shouldn't eat you, you really are suck in your head and you
might have something contagious", the wolf opined.
"Come read for yourself.
You can eat me after that you disagree with my conclusions."
So the wolf went
into the rabbit's hole, and never came back out again.
The rabbit finished writing its thesis and was out celebreting in the lettuce
fields. Another rabbit came by and asked: "Hey, what's up? You seem very
happy."
"Yup, I've just finished writing my PhD thesis."
"Congratulations!
What is it about?"
"It is titled The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and
Wolves."
"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
"Oh it does. You
should come over and read it for yourself."
So they went together into the rabbit's hole. As they went in, the friend saw the typical graduated student abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial dissertation was in one corner. On the right there was a piles of fox bones, on the left there was a pile of wolf bones and in the middle stood a lion.
The moral of the story is: the title of your PhD thesis doesn't matter; all that matters is who your advisor is.
标 题: 兔子的博士论文（修改版）
发信站: The unknown SPACE (Sun Dec 29 23:29:13 2002) WWW-POST
在一个充满阳光的午后，一只兔子从她的洞里出来享受大好天气。
天气好得让她失去警觉，一只狐狸尾随其后，抓住了她。
“我要把你当午餐吃掉！”狐狸说。
“慢着！”兔子答道。“你应该至少等个几天。”
“喔？是吗？为什么我要等？”
“嗯，我正在完成我的博士论文。”
“哈，那是个很蠢的理由。你的论文题目是什么？”
“我正在写《兔子比狐狸的优越性》。”
“你疯了吗？我应该现在就把你吃了！大家都知道狐狸总是比免子强的。”
“根据我的研究，并不尽然。如果你想的话，你可以来我洞里，自己读它。如果你不能被说服，你可以把我当午餐吃了。”
“你真的疯了！”但狐狸很好奇，而且读读论文也不会损失什么，就跟兔子进去了。 狐狸再也没有出来。
几天以后兔子又出来休息。一只狼从树丛中出来并准备吃她。
“慢着！”兔子叫道。“你现在不能吃我。”
“为什么呢？我毛绒绒的开胃菜。”
“我的论文《兔子比狐狸与狼的优越性》几乎要完成了。”
狼笑得太厉害，以致于松开抓住兔子的手。
“也许我不应该吃你。你的脑子真的有病，你可能有某种传染病。”
“你可以自己来读它。如果你不同意我的结论，你可以把我吃掉。”
于是狼跟兔子进洞里去，再也没有出来。
又过了些日子，兔子写累了出窝晒太阳。
这时候一只老虎跑过来抓住了它。这个庞然大物幸灾乐祸地看着兔子说：“我准备先吃了你，然后边日光浴边听你的骨头讲《兔子比狐狸与狼与老虎的优越性》”。
“且慢”，兔子很镇静地说，“显然你具有推理的头脑，而事实上这正是我下一步的构思。通过我对狐狸和狼的研究表明，他们其实不配和兔子做比较。我已经将新论文的理论部分完成了。所以如果可以的话，我对你作一个interview, 以补充实证方面的不足。
”
老虎其实也接受过高等教育，虽然他取得树林之王的地位是靠了深更半夜在中关村旁一个小旮旯角从蟑螂夫妇那里讨价还价一个小时廉价买了一个政治学研究生文凭。
老虎表达了对于这个构思的兴趣（无法肯定他是否希望将这个兔子的仅有的文化遗产据为己有，据老虎的副手猎豹酒后言，他正在张罗枪手代作博士论文。注意：这表明了动物世界文凭竞争的严峻形势。），
“那么你是否又要邀请我去你的臭兔窝子？好吧，我可以陪你聊聊，然后边看论文边用你下酒”。
于是老虎跟兔子进洞里去，并且再也没有出来。
兔子终于完成她的论文，并出来在莴苣丛中庆祝。
另一只兔子过来问她：“什么事？你看起来很快乐。”
“是啊，我刚刚完成我的论文。”
“恭喜！主题是？”
“《兔子比狐狸与狼与老虎与狮子的优越性》。”
“真的吗？听起来不太对。”
“喔！进来自己读。”
所以他们一起进洞里去。
当他们进去时，朋友看到的是一个典型的研究生的窝，一团乱，除了臭袜子还有几本黄色读物。 存放这部具争议性的论文的计算机在一个角落，在右边有一迭狐狸骨头，在左边有一迭狼的骨头，而在中间，是躺在血泊中的一只巨大的狮子和一只巨大的老虎。
这个故事告诉我们：你论文的题目并不重要。重要的是，谁是你的指导教授。而更重要的是，如果你不搞翻你的指导教授，你就没有出头之日。
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